Dealing with Loneliness Between Relationships

Sometimes when we have a dry spell and aren’t dating, we begin feeling lonely and fearful at the thought of being by ourselves for the rest of our lives. We wonder how we will ever fill those empty moments, especially at night and on weekends?

When a relationship ends, it’s so important to get to know the real you again before you start dating. While you’re getting reacquainted with yourself, you begin separating what is really yours from what was your ex’s or your last boyfriend’s stuff. You may find the table you bought together that seemed so right, was actually you caving in to his taste and forgetting your own ideas in the compromise. That is why this time of getting to know you is so important.

You now get to choose what you like and what you love doing!

At the same time, I also know what it’s like to sit at the table eating dinner alone night after night when a relationship has ended. I remember how scary it felt to break up with a man I’d lived with for two and a half years. None of my family lived in the same city as me, so I was terrified at the thought of endless nights and weekends alone. I did ask my friends if I could just come sit in their living room so I’d be around people during those alone times. Every single one of them said yes but not once did it happen.

Instead of feeling like “Poor Me”, I decided to get busy in my life by finding people I could do things with while I was waiting to date.

I began what I later termed a “Single Friends List” so in those moments when I felt alone and wanted to go to a movie or out to dinner, I had people I could call at a moments notice. If one was busy, I moved on to the next person until I found someone who was free.

I began asking friends if they knew any other single women. Since divorce is extensive now in couples over 50, more and more single women are coming on the scene so almost everyone knows someone they can connect you with.

It may feel awkward at first to call someone you don’t know, I’ve been there too. But, what I found was these women were happy when I called. They were sitting at home every Saturday night watching TV alone with their cat or dog since they hadn’t thought to come up with a “Single Friend’s List” of their own.

The value of doing a “Single Friends List” now is you don’t have the emotions of loneliness seeping in when you are trying to find someone to hang out with.

When the alone feeling shows up, your list is ready. You can start at the top and begin making plans right then and there.The other cool thing about the “Single Friends List” is when you do start dating, these women are usually dating too and you will find yourself with a great support system, which is so helpful.

As much as you may love your married friends, and as helpful as they want to be-never having been in your type of situation, they don’t always understand what you are going through. But your new single friends will.

So, get your list made and have fun getting to know some new people. The skills you’ll learn will be helpful when you are ready to find the ‘Quality Man’ your looking for.

Let me know how your “Single Friends List” is coming along by posting your comments below. Until next time-

Believing in You!

Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .

💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.

If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:

1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.

2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, "The Winning Dating Formula." It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.

3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.

4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.

Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹

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On April 10, 2012 / Dating After Divorce

Maxine Hargreaves

4:53 pm on April 10, 2012

Just what I needed to read 🙂

My husband died 3 and a half years ago, and while I have been in a relationship, on and off, I ended it, again, in February.

I’ve spent plenty of time working on me, working out what I want in a new man. I haven’t let the fact that I’m single stop me enjoying the things I love doing, so I’ll often be found at the theatre, concerts, cinema on my own 🙂

But those moments of feeling terribly alone descend every now and again, and I’ve been thinking about how I can find some friends to share the time with.

I’m going to start making my single friend list this week, thanks for the suggestion.

Lisa

5:51 pm on April 10, 2012

Maxine,
It is great that you are willing to do so many activities alone. I was always able to do that as well although I’ll admit it is always more fun to go with someone else which is why the Single Friends List will become so invaluable for you.

I met a lot of new people this way and it was nice having the support of women who were in the same place as I was at the time.

In the next few weeks I hope you will join our Facebook group – Fabulous Over 50… and Dating! This will be a safe place where women can share their stories and find support as they navigate the dating maze.
To find out more head to my fan page at: http://www.facebook.com/lisacopelanddatingcoach

Once you LIKE this page, you will start receiving the news feed and in the next few weeks the opportunity to join this community will show up along with details about a drawing to win a free half hour date coaching session with me. I hope you will check these out.

Let me know how your Single Friends List goes and maybe you ‘ll meet someone in this new community as well who can be there for you.

Much love and joy to you
Lisa

Janie glazer

10:32 am on April 11, 2012

Love your wisdom when it comes to men thank you for all the great advice . I always look forward to your emails keep up the good work and thanx for all your help your the best !!!

Amanda

2:17 pm on May 5, 2012

Maxine, I know how you feel sweetie. I come to Lisa’s blog often to lift my spirits.

Dealing with Loneliness Between Relationships

Dealing with Loneliness Between Relationships

Sometimes when we have a dry spell and aren’t dating, we begin feeling lonely and fearful at the thought of being by ourselves for the rest of our lives. We wonder how we will ever fill those empty moments, especially at night and on weekends?

You now get to choose what you like and what you love doing!

Instead of feeling like “Poor Me”, I decided to get busy in my life by finding people I could do things with while I was waiting to date.

I began what I later termed a “Single Friends List” so in those moments when I felt alone and wanted to go to a movie or out to dinner, I had people I could call at a moments notice. If one was busy, I moved on to the next person until I found someone who was free.

I began asking friends if they knew any other single women. Since divorce is extensive now in couples over 50, more and more single women are coming on the scene so almost everyone knows someone they can connect you with.

The value of doing a “Single Friends List” now is you don’t have the emotions of loneliness seeping in when you are trying to find someone to hang out with.

As much as you may love your married friends, and as helpful as they want to be-never having been in your type of situation, they don’t always understand what you are going through. But your new single friends will.

So, get your list made and have fun getting to know some new people. The skills you’ll learn will be helpful when you are ready to find the ‘Quality Man’ your looking for.

Let me know how your “Single Friends List” is coming along by posting your comments below. Until next time-

4 Comments