To Be or Not to Be a Cougar
Who knew that as women over 50, we’d have so many options to choose from when it came to dating men? And believe it or not, lots of men want to date us–older men, men our age and now younger men are trying to catch our eye.
I must admit the last one, known as ‘Cougar Dating’ thanks to the now defunct marriage of Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, was a little hard for me to wrap my head around. Yes, I’d dated men 3-5 years younger but 10 to 20 would take some getting used to.
Online, younger men would write me all the time and I’d always say, “Are you looking for a mom?” They’d quickly tell me “No way!” They just felt younger women were too high maintenance for them and had far too much drama in their lives.
I had to laugh at the high maintenance comment I heard time and time again from these young men. They just had no idea what it took to look good at 50. Hair alone can be a full time job whether its plucking it from places you never knew hair could grow, to coloring it constantly just to hide the grey.
As women over 50 we aren’t heading over to the local “Steak and Shake” for a date. No, we want to be wined and dined at only the best. Our high maintenance was just hidden from these young men since they don’t live with their mommy’s anymore. Somehow they’ve created this great fantasy of who they think we are, and that is what they want to experience.
Hey, I’ll be the first to admit it feels GREAT when a younger man asks you out. He’s probably surrounded by young women with their smooth complexions and youthful glow on a daily basis. Yet here he is, willing to skip all that because he thinks we’re cool, calm and low maintenance even with wrinkles around our eyes. Imagine that?
Out and about one day, I literally bumped into this gorgeous late 30’s, early 40’s young man who was a cross between Hugh Laurie and George Clooney. We sat down and started talking and laughing. Next thing I knew, he was asking me out. I was momentarily stunned–this handsome young stud wanted a date with me? He could have had the pick of the litter his own age and even younger, yet he was asking me, a 50+ year old woman, on a date?
I wanted to burst out laughing! Instead I played the game and flirted with him, while having a charming afternoon being courted by a young handsome man. In the end, I did not go out with him. As much chemistry as we had, I actually found it hard to relate to a lot of what he was saying, but that afternoon was fun and he sure did make me feel good!
Would you love to be a ‘Cougar?’ Share your comments below and let me know what your views are when it comes to women our age dating younger men. I look forward to hearing your thoughts. Until next time-
Believing in You!
Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .
💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.
If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:
1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.
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3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.
4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.
Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹
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I work in a very male dominated field. Most of my coworkers are male. Many a younger, single and dating. They often make the “high maintenance” complaint about younger women that Lisa expressed but I think they’re complaint really does have some validity to it when comparing a younger woman to an older one because the criteria are different than, I believe Lisa suspects.
The young men I work with tell me that dinner and a movie or an average night out just don’t do it with younger women anymore. They’re now required to chauffeur them to top clubs with crazy cover charges to get in and then to spend an evening paying for $10-12 froo-froo drinks (or more) and to tip lavishly at those clubs. Once they get serious about a young lady, gifts less than the latest $300 designer purse or the latest $150+ dollar designer shoes just won’t do. It goes on and on. The word I hear bandied about most about these young women is “entitlement”. These ladies feel entitled to this treatment where only the best will do. The men their age meanwhile can’t afford to give them their every hearts desire and so, they shy away from these women and look elsewhere for companionship.
Here’s the thing – guys have been dating/marrying younger women for centuries now, so I don’t see why there should be anything wrong with an older woman being interested in a younger man. I know our society views things unequally when it comes to men vs. women, but the simple fact is that it should be about love, not about age (or skin color or political party or… you get my point). Sure, it can be hard to relate to someone from a different generation – I personally tried dating someone a little younger and a little older, but in the end I found it easier to stick with someone my own age – but that shouldn’t stop you from at least trying it if you are interested. 🙂
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LOL Lisa, Love it!! “Are you looking for a mom”… I think they know we know what we are doing. 😉 You are so amazing…
Its like you read my mind! You seem to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a bit, but other than that, this is wonderful blog. A fantastic read. I’ll certainly be back.