Are You Making This Huge Dating Mistake Looking For Love After 50?
Before we get started on today’s blog, I wanted to make sure you took the opportunity to participate in these two amazing FREE events that can help jumpstart your love life.
This first one is the…Love Library Giveaway. You’ll be able to pick up amazing tips from world-renowned Love & Intimacy Experts that you can keep forever in your digital library.
This second event will totally empower you! We don’t always realize the blocks that are holding us back from being who we truly are and that keeps us from making our dreams come true. To turn that around, you’ll want to check out this important Free Summit called Authentically Me- Self Love Unplugged.
Now for today’s blog…..
Raise your hand if you ever thought you’d be dating in the second half of your life.
I’m betting you probably didn’t. Right?
And I’m thinking that when you first started on this journey, it was kind of exciting looking at pictures of good-looking men online who seemed fun and interesting.
You probably felt hopeful that one of those men would be the right one for you.
It’s likely you exchanged emails with a couple of guys online, had a phone call or two and got to your first meet and greet.
Remember how excited you were to meet him?
And remember how disappointed you felt when he wasn’t the one?
You chalked it up to experience figuring there were other men out there to date so you took a chance and you met the next guy.
But there wasn’t a connection with this one either.
This happens to you 5 times in a row.
Your initial feelings of excitement are waning and you’re starting to feel frustrated and disillusioned by men who aren’t who they appear to be in their profile.
At this point, you’re pretty close to quitting because it’s just not worth the effort.
You start thinking that your kids, friends, maybe even grandkids plus a busy life will fill you up instead.
Yes, you’re sad but you feel there is no other choice.
You’ve had it with dating especially online.
Sound familiar? You’re not alone!
I hear a version of this same story over and over again from women around the world.
So…let’s talk about how to get this turned around so you can find your Mr. Right.
How many times have you looked at a handsome man and thought, he’s a good guy?
But in reality, is he?
Or maybe you’ve liked a man’s profession and you think he might be a perfect match based on what he does.
Or he likes to bike and so do you. And you think…. wow, this is amazing, we have so much in common.
Qualities like these are called perceived high value qualities.
Looks, money, cars, houses, profession, and specific activities like working out or being spiritual are some of the perceived high value qualities I’ve seen women believe will make a man her perfect match.
When a guy has one of your perceived high value qualities, you end up creating a story about why he’s perfect for you.
You daydream about what it would be like to live with him in his cool house.
You imagine the two of you working out then heading to your favorite brunch spot on Sundays.
You see the two of you showing up at parties or weddings together in his expensive car.
You imagine walking into a room and everyone is so jealous as you walk through the door with such an attractive man at your side.
You’ve created this amazing fairytale of your life together that feels so good and so right.
Don’t laugh…I remember doing this too! We all do.
Now…back to reality.
The day of the meet and greet arrives.
This guy has everything you want and you’re so excited to meet him…that is until he shows up.
And the cycle begins again of yet another guy misrepresenting himself to you and you wondering why this is happening to you over and over again.
So here’s the scoop…
Think about what happens while you’re waiting for a date to happen.
Often you end up creating a story about who you think this man really is based on his looks, the perceived high quality activities he divulges in his profile and what he shares about himself during a brief phone call.
Your imagination gets to play as you daydream about this potential Prince Charming.
Then he shows up and the real guy doesn’t match the story you’ve created about him.
Here’s the secret for ending this cycle of disconnection with men that takes you down every time it happens.
Go on a date with the sole intention of getting to know someone new and interesting.
Be playful and ask fun questions about his life, his childhood, what he loves to eat or whether he cooks for himself and if he does, what’s his favorite food he makes.
This is called a discovery mindset and it’s important because it keeps you from making up stories about who a man is before you’ve even met.
Try this new way of dating and let me know what you think by posting your thoughts using the comment button below.
Believing in You!
Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .
💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.
If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:
1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.
2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, "The Winning Dating Formula." It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.
3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.
4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.
Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹
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Copyright© 2024 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.
Well…Im an attractive, much younger looking 62 year old, that decided to put these “high end” expectations on hold, and just see how it goes. Hmmm…STILL a flop. But that is only having given this 2 shots. The one prior was a full on NPD ( I know what they are….I work in the profession). The next one was similar in terms of lack of integrity, though superficially nice. Im going to keep working the numbers anyway. Beats a NETFLX life!!
You’re right Sherry. Dating is a numbers game big time! Keep at it and be sure to get some help from books, workshops, coaching, classes etc. Dating is like going back to school. We weren’t born with the skill…its for sure something you learn. You’re attitude is awesome. Keep it up! Lots of hugs~