Ever wonder what men think about looking for love after 50?
Recently, a man named Lee reached out to me and shared his thoughts about how difficult dating was for a man over 50. (I bet you thought it was only difficult for us, right?)
His insights were right on target about women from a male perspective.
I asked if we could record our call and he gave me permission to share it with you hoping it will help women understand men and dating from a male perspective.
He shares from his heart why so many of the men you pass up might actually make a good boyfriend or future husband for you.
Lee also talks about how it feels to be a man in the dating world…priceless information worth hearing.
I feel like you’ll come away with insights and compassion for yourself and for the men you meet as you travel the journey of finding love the second time around.
Here’s the link: An Interview With Lee On Looking For Love After 50
(If you’re like me, some of my best learning is done listening in the car or while walking my dog, Levi.)
I’d love to hear your thoughts about what Lee shared.
Believing in You!
Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .
💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.
If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:
1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.
2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, "The Winning Dating Formula." It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.
3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.
4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.
Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹
Love this article? Sign up by clicking here to receive my weekly blog.
Copyright© 2024 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.
Interviews like this are so helpful. I love hearing a mans perspective of early dating behavior and expectations. It would be fun to hear other men as well.
Glad you enjoyed this Peggy. Thanks for letting me know. Hugs~
Always good to hear a man’s perspective! Thanks for sharing Lee. I live in a small place and became single at 50. In the past 10 yrs I have tried to meet men the normal way, but only met 2 people that I ended up dating. I asked my friends to refer me to men they knew, that resulted in only 2 dates, and so I have – off and on – done online dating. I have had many experiences, and learned so much about men and about myself. I have had to have a thin skin and a great sense of humor, as dating over 50 is very different from dating in our 20’s. I believe that back then we picked partners based on our chemistry and biological attractions. So I many times have dated men that I felt little to no chemistry with or attraction to, but they were nice men. That never worked out in the long term. I wanted to believe that chemistry would grow as I got to know a nice man, but the truth is I do think there has to be a common ground of mutual chemistry and backgrounds that bring you to someone who has been raised like you, has similar values and then big bonus if they have the ability to match you financially and in activities (there has to be some mutual things you like to do!).
I waited, I nearly gave up, but recently met someone online in another province. We connected by message, then email, and within a couple of emails by phone. I knew we had “something” already, and he agreed. But we knew we had to meet, and sooner than later, or too much disappointment and time wasted could result. It was very nerve-wracking, as it does not get easier as more time goes by, in fact, I think it gets harder because you are hanging on, trying not to give up hope that that person is out there.
We met a couple of weeks after meeting online, very nervous! and from the minute we saw each other, it was joy! It’s been 3 months now, and whereas at this point with the men I felt no chemistry with, and had not enough commanalities with, I would be trying to find ways to continue, with this man, I can safely say I could spend the rest of my life with him. NOTHING about him bothers me. This has never happened. Sure, there will be things, we have talked about it, but the more time we spend, the better it gets and the closer we grow. Overall, I would have to say that you just have to keep being brave enough to keep putting yourself out there until you find this connection, or whatever makes you feel “that feeling”!! Never give up hope, and never “settle” for something that deep down, you know in your heart is not going to complete your world. I am far from “needing” a man, but I really wanted a man in my life after a 26 year marriage. Now that we are a solid item, I do feel that I need him, AND I want him. Hang in folks, and keep trying! there is someone for everyone, but you have to get out there!
Wonderful words of wisdom Valerie. Thank you for taking the time to share them with us. Big hugs to you~
Thank you Lisa !
It’s nice to have perspective from a man out there seeking his mate. He was authentic and open!
I’m going online soon after 7 years… I’m looking for my husband ! A Christ centered man. I’m going to try Match because eHarmony does the deciding …
My heart is open to a man who is chivalrous, kind, living and will communicate and grow with me !
Thank you for all that you do!
Blessings,
Marti
How exciting Marti. Hope you’ll keep us posted as you travel this journey. Big hugs~
Whoa, Nellie. His statement about how a woman can’t give a man confidence blew me away! That’s just what I tried to do with my ex-husband. In the end he couldn’t accept it and said all my praise was fake. Lisa and Lee, thanks for giving us an insight into how men view dating over 50.
You’re so welcome Caryl. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. Glad it was helpful. Big hugs~
Very interesting interview. He had some good observations. Thank you for sharing with us.
You’re so welcome Julie. Big hugs~
Some very insightful comments, Thank you Lee! I wish there were more men out there who are as introspective and thoughtful as you are.
I think it is too bad that so many people (men and women) seem to be obsessed with the Alpha/Beta dynamic, like one has to be the leader and the other the follower. What about a relationship between two equals? Am I the only person who wants this? Being a feminist doesn’t mean you are trying to put men down, it just means that you think that men and women are and should be respected as equals, so what’s the big deal? It is ridiculous that women should have to worry so much about making men feel inadequate, when all we are doing is acting like normal people instead of putting on a fake show of inadequacy. Maybe men need to rethink women’s motives; just because men are constantly competing with each other doesn’t mean that women are trying to do this! Don’t assume that simply because a woman is smart or capable, that means she is trying to compete with or outdo you! Maybe she is just being herself, and what she really needs from you is for you to be yourself, and give her acceptance for being herself. Sometimes she might be “better” at something than you are, and vice versa, so what? Since when did love become a competitive event?
I agree that a lot of single people have problems with sharing vulnerabilities, this has nothing to do with being a man or a woman, it is just the human condition. The more we can authentically share of ourselves, the better the quality of our connections with others.
I agree that attraction is not always an immediate thing, in fact it often takes some time. When I first meet someone, I am not asking “do they turn me on?” but rather, “are they interesting and fun to spend time with?” I think this is a better indicator of future romantic passion than instant lust, which although fun, often burns out just as quickly. People say “Oh I can tell right away if there is attraction or not”.. but if they never give it a chance then it becomes a self-fulfilling proficy doesn’t it? I’d like to hear from more men (and women) about these topics…
Thank you for sharing your thoughts Beth. Your mindset is awesome and will be the best thing for finding the right man for you. Big hugs to you~
I don’t know if Lee is still in the dating world, but if he is
Please, ladies hold on to him. He’s awesome. The transparency, vulnerability, value and warmth of this man…………….. I could go on and on. The bottom line ladies, he’s definitely a keeper. Did he not have the best spirit ever! Borrow his wisdom, so you won’t have to pay for it in your journey for a connection.
Thank you Felecia. I will let Lee know what you said. I’m sure he will appreciate your kind thoughts.Big hugs~
I am 56, divorced and dating the last 5 years.I have tried online dating also.Men my age and older dont want a committment and most just want casual sex.I have had alot of first dates and find that men are looking for chemisty and not willing to get to know us.Dating has been frustrated to say the least.It was interesting to hear the callers comments.
Glad it was helpful Nellie. Keep his words in mind as you travel this journey. Big hugs~
The idea of getting past “the chemistry stage” and giving a relationship a chance to develop is a crucial “tip”. As the man who was interviewed said, it takes time to get to know someone.
I want to thank you both the man who spoke and Lisa for sharing the interview. The search for affection, intimacy and communication is universal and all human beings should make every effort to have those in their lives.
You’re so welcome Maritza. I’m glad you found that gem of gold that spoke to you. Big hugs~
Hi Lisa,
I found it interesting that men and women had the same problems in dating over 50. So, I found it interesting that Lee said to give it some time to see if the chemistry grows. I tried that once and dated someone for 3 months. I kept waiting for the chemistry to grow, but it never did. How much time do we actually need to give?
Michele
Hi Michele…you will know in about 4 or 5 dates if you have an attraction factor. If you haven’t found it by then, its probably not going to happen. Glad you enjoyed the interview. Big hugs~
Thank you for this Lisa! I’m glad I listened to the interview with Lee. I liked his idea of a dating site with the attitudes expressed in Ken Page’s Deeper Dating. He is a very thoughtful man.
I’m so glad you enjoyed the interview Lorri. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. Big hugs~