How Dating This Way Hurts Your Chances Of Ever Finding Love in Your 40’s, 50’s and 60’s
My friend Suzanne tragically lost the love of her life in her 40’s.
When it happened she told me it felt like her heart literally shattered into a million pieces.
The wound was so deep that it took her almost 10 years before she was willing to dip her toe into the dating pool.
She eventually did and ended up meeting a very wealthy businessman.
I can remember her being so drawn to his intelligence….NOT to his heart.
They ended up marrying; had a beautiful wedding, white dress and all and lived a lifestyle many would envy.
They traveled first class around the world.
They dined at the finest restaurants.
They bought a gorgeous old home and spent millions of dollars renovating it.
They had tickets to the symphony and the ballet and travelled all the time to see the latest Broadway plays appearing in New York.
About 5 years into their marriage, she decided to retire from her high power corporate job just as her husband decided to expand his business.
The money was flowing and on the outside, they looked like the perfect couple with the perfect life.
It wasn’t until after they divorced that Suzanne told me the truth about how lonely it felt to be married to someone whose mistress was work.
She’d been missing an intimacy you can only get on a soul level when your hearts connect.
Notice I said your hearts not your minds which is what Suzanne loved about this man from the get-go.
Fast forward a few years later and Suzanne meets another wealthy businessman.
And guess what the first words out of her mouth were…if you guessed I loved his intelligence than you would be right.
This was a red flag that kept her in the pattern of dating the wrong men and that’s a problem when you’re looking for love.
As a Love Coach, I help women create what I call a Quality Man Template so they can finally see that their type might not be the best match for them.
But without help, it can be hard to do.
You could walk into a room filled with 100 men.
99 of these men would be good for you but the only one you’d be attracted to would be the guy you think is your type.
But truthfully, if your type worked for you, you would still be with him. Right?
(I’d love to help you too stop the endless cycle of dating the wrong man over and over again. If this is you, let’s set up a time to chat about how we can get you back on track for meeting the perfect man for you. Click here and apply for a Complimentary Dare to Live Your Dream of Finding Love Session with me.)
Now back to the story…I asked my friend if I could share an observation with her both as her friend and as a dating coach.
She said, “of course!”
I told her that even though she was thrilled by this man’s intelligence, it was going to keep her once again from getting to that place of intimacy she had so craved in her 2nd marriage.
Next I asked her this IMPORTANT question….
“Are you protecting your heart?”
Like so many of my clients, she was afraid of getting her heart crushed again like she had so long ago.
So what would she do to protect herself?
She’d quickly find faults in the men she dated.
And she found a quality that would keep her heart safe…an attraction to a man’s intelligence.
But his mind wasn’t going to keep her warm at night.
I gave her my Secret Attraction Formula, which I want to share with you too…
A man’s personality + His appearance = Attraction.
When I asked her if she liked his personality the only thing she could say was that the dating world is messy.
Yes it can be messy and scary because it makes you so vulnerable.
Men love your accomplishments, they love your intelligence but what they love most about you is your heart and your vulnerability.
When you’re able to trust a man, you are triggering his hero response that wants to always keep you safe, protected and happy.
Like my friend, many women block their hearts because they are afraid of getting hurt again.
But if you block your heart, you can’t get the closeness you want with a man.
Whether you’re a professional woman, a mom, a grandma, a woman who is spiritual or super intelligent, it’s likely you’re blocking your heart in some way that’s keeping you from the perfect man for you.
So here’s the question…Is YOUR HEART open to love?
If it is…great!
But if its not, here’s what you can do about that.
I’ve created a Free Love Gift from my heart to yours to help you start the process of opening your heart to the perfect man for you. Click here to access it now.
Once you’ve listened, come back and share with me how you’ve blocked your own heart and how it’s been keeping you from finding love in the second half of your life.
Believing in You!
Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .
💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.
If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:
1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.
2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, "The Winning Dating Formula." It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.
3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.
4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.
Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹
Love this article? Sign up by clicking here to receive my weekly blog.
Copyright© 2024 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.
Lisa, thank you. Your book and articles have helped me navigate the dating world as a woman who meet my husband 40 years ago and now mid fifties have had to date after a 36 year absence. I also was attracting narcissists (like my husband)and I needed to change that course. I am currently dating a man with a big heart and not self absorbed. He is not my typical kind of man and I love and understand that. Thank you !