5 Steps That Will Make You Love Online Dating After 50

 

When I first started dating in my mid 40’s, I had no clue what to do when it came to navigating the world of online dating sites.

I look back and wince at how often I allowed men to make me their email pal or phone pal. The worst part is… I was thrilled by it.

You see, I figured they picked me out of every other woman to speak with. In return, it was my female duty to let them yak for hours about themselves and their days.

Night after night, I’d think I was doing the right thing. But guess what… no date ever came out of a single one of those nighttime talkers.

I had to learn the hard way how to set boundaries and move interesting men through the process to get first and second dates with them.

I don’t want you to have to learn the hard way. Take the tips in these 5 steps to move from, “Oh, he looks cute,” to “Yes, I’d like to go out with you again!”

 

Step #1. Don’t Choose ‘The One’ Based On What You See Online

Some men look great on paper, don’t they?  Then you meet them in person and you think, “What happened to the one I thought was so great online? Where is that guy?”

This happens because you paint a picture in your mind of who someone might be based on a couple of paragraphs and a small profile picture.

More than likely, they aren’t that person and you’ve set yourself up for being disappointed when he’s not who you thought he was.

Try and leave out any expectations and pictures of who you think a man might be until you’ve actually met him.

 

Step #2. Making Contact

I usually recommend you let men contact you.  I always found it fizzled when I was the first to get the ball rolling.

Now that being said, I know of 2 very good relationships where the woman contacted the man first.

It’s worth a try if you are really interested in a man, but make sure you aren’t attached to whether or not he writes you back.

Keep emails to a minimum of 3 to 5 each between you. Beyond that, you are becoming his pen pal.  You really want to take it to the next step fairly quickly.

 

Step #3. Using The Phone To Your Advantage

I recommend limiting phone conversations to 1 to 3 at the most. Limiting the number of calls keeps you from endless nights on the phone that goes nowhere.

This gives you the opportunity to screen a man. If you choose to meet without this step, you could be quite surprised by who shows up.

I remember a date with a guy who asked me to meet him at an ice cream shop. I thought it was a cute idea. The problem was, he had no job and no money for dating so no ice cream!

I would have found that out if I’d spent some time on the phone with him before meeting him.

It really is worth squeezing in at least one call to see if he has any obvious deal breaker qualities so you aren’t wasting your time on the next step…

 

Step #4. The Date

So he sounds nice on the phone. Now it’s time to get off the phone and meet in person.

I like meeting for coffee or tea. A meal is great but it can be very long and you have to be at your best for at least an hour. It’s exhausting, and it leads to feeling worn down by dating.

Meeting at a coffee shop can be short and sweet and you can be out of there within half an hour or less once your beverage is done.

If the date is going well… you can take it to a meal but I do suggest limiting first dates to less than 2 hours.  Leave some mystery and intrigue for next time.

 

Step #5. Getting That Elusive Second Date

You’ve painted a picture of him in your head, and guess what… He’s done the same thing about the woman he wants and if you don’t fit that picture, a second date is not going to be in the cards.

Try and remember, it’s not about you! It’s about him and his idea of who he wants.

Women do the same thing. Think of all the guys you have turned down because they didn’t fit your picture of Mr. Right.

Try and view every date as a way to get to know someone new and interesting.

And promise me this: if he doesn’t ask you out again, don’t write, text or call him.

Move on to the next guy because your goal is to have someone who wants you in his life.

When you think about it, do you really want a guy you have to push to ask you out again?

In the meantime, I would love to hear your thoughts about your experiences online…

Believing in You!

---

Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .

💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.

If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:

1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.

2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, "The Winning Dating Formula." It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.

3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.

4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.

Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹

Love this article? Sign up by clicking here to receive my weekly blog.

Copyright© 2024 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.

On August 30, 2017   /   Dating After 50, Successful Single Women over 50