How To Overcome Your Fears About Dating As A Woman Over 50
Here are four steps that can help you break though the fear and self-doubt you may be feeling about dating again at this time in your life.
1. Take A No-Excuses Approach
Although, some call them “reasons,” you could be stopping yourself from finding Mr. Right by using excuses.
Great guys are actually everywhere. But when you’re not sure what to do or how to handle the dating issues that come up…
You make and use excuses that ultimately keep you from moving forward towards your dream of connecting with a Quality Man.
Some of the biggest excuses I hear are… “There are no good men out there left to date,” “I’m too busy to date,” “No one will want me at my age,” or “All men are jerks,” and the list goes on.
You may want to date and find a good man, but if you dig deeper… you’ll recognize it feels safer to stay single and not have to deal with someone else’s baggage so you use these excuses as your trap door…your escape route.
To get the right guy into your life, you’ve got to be willing to let go of the excuses and get yourself online or out in the real world meeting men.
This is the way you can find and connect with a man who is a good fit for you.
Ask yourself… How badly do you want a companion in your life? You either have excuses or you have results. Which do you choose?
2. Feel The Fear—But Do It Anyway
Your ego creates fear to keep you safe.
Just thinking about dating, you may have felt a fear of rejection, a fear of not being good enough, a fear of being humiliated, a fear of making mistakes, a fear a man might not like you and fear of the unknown… just to name a few.
Most single women I know experience fear when it comes to dating after 50.
What separates the woman who gets the guy from the woman who allows her fears to hold her back… is a willingness to date in spite of the fears she may be feeling.
The best way for you to get over your dating fears is to walk directly into them.
Let yourself feel them. Ask the fear what it’s trying to tell you. Then journal the answers you hear.
It takes courage to do this…courage I see my private clients show everyday when they put themselves in the vulnerable position of meeting and getting to know new men…even though they are shaking in their boots as they do it.
Actually, walking into fear is never as bad as you think it’s going to be.
If you allow yourself to feel the fears versus resisting the fear… what you might get instead is a great guy in your life.
Imagine that.
3. Be Willing To Go Out Of Your Comfort Zone
Most of us avoid discomfort like it’s the plague. Yet it’s the best way to grow and get what you want in life.
It can be scary but usually you only feel uncomfortable for a short period of time.
Here’s a great mantra that will help you…
I am ready to date. I am willing to find and meet new men even when I feel uncomfortable. I know uncomfortable equals growth and growth equals achieving my dreams of finding the man I want to share my life with.
4. Take Dating Action
It would be nice if you could just make a wish and Mr. Right would show up on your doorstep. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way.
You will have to take some type of action to find him. Staying at home with your cat and your favorite TV show isn’t going to get you to the man you want.
Getting online, smiling and flirting with men in the real world, asking your friends and families to keep their eyes open for a good guy… These are the surest ways of making your dreams of finding a good man come true.
I’d love to hear what you think in the comments.
Until next time~
Believing in You!
Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .
💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.
If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:
1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.
2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, "The Winning Dating Formula." It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.
3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.
4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.
Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹
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Copyright© 2024 Lisa Copeland. All rights reserved.
Lisa
Ya know, I do all of these things and am really becoming convinced to put off dating until I can retire and leave the region. Been on about 5 dating sites, spent a lot of money which could’ve gone into fixing up my home thus increasing it’s value for eventual sale, taking care of my dad, paying off credit cards, whatever. I just am not finding any fit, educated (I am serously educated), healthy men. I dont stick to who contacts me, I go looking on the sites for what I want and just do not see/read about many who appeal to me at all. I know many blogs say “settle, settle, settle” but in my experience, if there is serious incompatibility, or you just cannot force a physical attraction for the person, it’s not fair to you or the other person to pretend there is a possibility of a relationship when there is none. I polled other single women have been on line in my region also for years, are a variety of ages (30’s to late 60’s). They’re in the same boat and too have stopped paying hundreds for dating sites and have given up. Overwhelmingly underemployed guys without much ambition, ski/snowboard bums, often have very redneck values, little/no education. This is within a 100 mile radius of here (Rocky Mountain area). I thought that there was something really wrong with me until I talked to these other women. They too are sick of driving 100+ miles one way for dates that do not work out, going to far away social stuff on dangerous winter roads. Are there simply areas, due to socioeconomic factors and “cultural” values, where the majority of men are simply not good dating material?
I enjoy reading everything that you have written…. The opportunity to be able to talk to you personally over the phone was such a godsend. when our conversation was over I felt so validated and energized about my experiences in the dating field…. being 77 years old is a little different than being 50 years old ….. i’m waiting for you to write a book on dating after 80….. I could certainly contribute some very funny and humorous antidotes…… anyone who dates after 80 certainly needs to approach dating with a strong sense of humor and no expectations because there aren’t any!…. it’s interesting the number of men who are so much younger then I that are interested in older Women starting at age 19 Here is our opportunity to be Mrs. Robinson or better yet having a relationship like the characters in the movie. ” Harold and Maude”….. it’s not so much the age difference it’s the wrinkle difference that bothers me….. anyways I’m having the time of my life and it is such a heady experience. ….. and thank you for being so supportive
Marlee Swales
Marlee
You are my hero! Incidentally, my ex husband, with whom I had a wonderful marriage, is 81. Playing Mrs. Robinson wouldn’t be so bad if there were younger guys that were not so much into pop culture and were self supporting.