Dear Lisa… Figuring Out The Good Guys Online After 50

 

Dear LisaDear Lisa,

I am new to dating.  I’ve been divorced about 6 months and recently a friend suggested I go online.  But when I got there, I found thousands of men on there.  I felt like a kid in a candy store being given so many choices of the penny candies but unable to choose cause there are too many.  As you can probably tell, I am overwhelmed by all of their pictures.  Is there a something I can do to figure out which ones might be good for me to date? Tracy

 

Tracy

It sounds like you could use some of what I like to call “Male Online Sorting Filters.”

Start by making a “Male Wish List.”  Figure out what it is you want in a man you’d like to date.

Next…head to the profiles of men on your favorite dating site.

Begin looking at the pictures.  This time…view them as holding the clues to a man’s life whether it’s the way he’s dressed, the background surrounding him or who’s in the picture with him.

If family values are important to you and a man has a picture with his kids, you know it’s important to him as well.

If he displays a picture with his German Shepherd…you know his dog is important but if you are not a dog person…you know to move on.

If any of the clues in these pictures…make you curious about him….then read his profile.

Pay attention to the words he’s written to see if it matches with the values and qualities of your wish list.

Look for what he likes to do in life and see if it’s 70-80% compatible to your lifestyle.  If he rides motorcycles every weekend and you’re not into motorcycles…it might be best to move on.

Yet if he says it’s a hobby he can do with or without you…he’s a possibility.

If you like his picture and what he has to say…wink at him or make him a favorite and see where it goes.

 

Dear Lisa

I haven’t dated anyone in eons.  In all honesty, I can’t find anyone worth dating.  I had a pretty decent first marriage but sadly, my husband died and I just can’t find anyone to replace what I had with him.  I go online but no one is as handsome as he was and my friends try and fix me up but the men all seem like old geezers even though they are my age.  I’m tired of being alone and would like to find someone.  How do I get started?  By the way, its been almost 10 years since I lost Don.  I so miss him!  Jane

 

Jane

I am so sorry about your late husband.  I will give you some tips for getting out there to date again but if Don is still holding a prominent place in your mind and heart…it might help to turn to a professional therapist for help with this.

Let’s begin with the idea that 10 years is literally a lifetime ago.  Don was probably in his 40’s at the time.  That’s still a pretty youthful age especially in appearance, which may explain why everyone looks like an “old geezer” to you now.

Sadly, he is gone and you can’t replace him.  He was unique and your relationship was unique with its own set of qualities special to the two of you.

But, you can find someone to share your life with if you can let Don go from being the standard a man must live up to.

And you can create another good unique relationship in your life if you can try not comparing every new man to Don.

It would help you to start looking at the men around you and see who seems handsome to you.  Look online and do the same.

Then start talking with men especially those over 50 whether you are at the grocery store, the drug store, or online.  This will help you get used to interacting with men of this age.

If you’re ready to date…be aware of being too picky.  If no one is ok enough, you’ll continue to be alone.

Also, consider going on dates with no expectation other than to have fun with a man.  Try dating all types of men so you can see what type of man you’d most like in your life at this age.

And just have fun getting to know someone new and interesting.  If it turns into something more…great!  If it doesn’t, you’ve had the opportunity to learn more about yourself and the men you do and don’t want to date.

Until next time~

Believing in You!

Lisa

Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .

💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.

If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:

1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.

2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, "The Winning Dating Formula." It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.

3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.

4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.

Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹

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