Dear Lisa, How Do I Win At The Dating Game?
Dear Lisa,
You state a lot of rules about how men react, behave, what they want, etc. ALL men? Not all men think and behave the same and there are not only two kinds of men and women.
Alpha? Beta? People are multidimensional. A true Alpha Male isn’t threatened by a strong woman – he sees her as a partner and enjoys her ability to walk shoulder to shoulder with him.
The best relationships start as friendships where two people know each other as friends – not trying to figure out strategies to attract each other, just allowing each other to naturally be themselves and letting romance happen.
It seems like we should not be playing boy/girl games in our fifties. It may take a while, but I’m convinced that by being out in the world and minimizing if not eliminating my time online, I will find the right person.
If there are as many divorced, widowed, and still single guys out there in our age group as you say, it’s only a matter of time. It worked when I was younger – why not now? Susan
Hi Susan,
Yes, you can meet a man in the real world but you do need to understand who men are at this age and how to relate to them.
They are not the same men you met the first time around in your late teens or twenties.
Thinking they haven’t changed is one of the everyday mistakes women make at this stage of life that keeps them from attracting the perfect guy.
Understanding Men 101 reverses the myths about men over 50.
Does an Alpha male want an Alpha woman? Alpha men love women who are independent, strong and successful. BUT, Alpha men do not want to compete with you.
They need you to let them be the real men they are. And if you do, they will bring out your most feminine side, cherishing and adoring you.
This is the KEY to dating an Alpha male when you are an Alpha female.
As for games, the beginning of dating is all about flirting.
Flirting is FUN and playful and men love women who smile and laugh. I can’t tell you the number of men who tell me they are so tired of meeting Debbie Downers.
So if your intention is to capture the interest of a man, you will want to know how to get his attention. And once you have it, how to keep it.
I will tell you that men who think of you as being in the “friend zone” will take themselves out of the relationship game with you because they think you’re not interested.
Do you want to know how to play “the dating game” when it comes to getting what you want in the love arena? You can be dating successfully knowing these simple secrets.
Lisa,
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 6 years. We live still live together. I did move downstairs to my own room.
I want to date but don’t feel it’s right to date. I feel as though I’m cheating. Even though he has told me clearly… “It’s over and there’s no going back.”
It’s such an awkward situation. But I’m lonely and want a companion, someone to go out with and talk to and just have fun with. Walk, have a drink, have dinner.
Do I wait because I don’t want to blow any chance I have to make sure that I get my fair share of the house profit? But then in the other breathe I just want to have fun… with a companion. Who in their right minds would say, “Oh ok sure let’s date, while you live with another man?”
Hopefully you can respond to my dilemma. Brenda
Hi Brenda,
Legally, you will have to speak to an attorney about getting your fair share of the house.
Emotionally, living in the same house with your ex and trying to date is pretty tough.
The types of men who would tolerate this arrangement are probably only looking for a sexual partner and it sounds like what you’re looking for is a true partner.
Consider taking this time to heal and get back in touch with YOU again.
Go out with your girlfriends to movies and dinners. Let them keep you company for a while until you have your issues resolved and are living on your own again. Good luck with this Brenda.
Dear Lisa,
Is it ok to text a guy to say good-bye when I’m going on a trip who I’ve been out with 2 times and calls about every 3 weeks? Bonnie
Bonnie,
If you were in a true relationship, he’d know you were going out of town.
What you have with this man is a couple of dates and a couple of phone calls.
This leads me to believe he’s more than likely dating other women at the same time he’s occasionally calling you, which, by the way, is at his convenience, not yours.
My answer to you is NO. Don’t text him. And when you come back, move on and find someone who wants to be involved with you on a more consistent basis.
Hi Lisa,
I am 49 and am dating a 55-year-old man. My children are still young (11 and 7) and his are older, late teens.
We have been dating for 18 months now, and are planning an overseas trip for 3 weeks.
I feel like I am just a ‘fill in’ for him. He told me last week that there is no way we can live together while my kids are still at home. It could be 15 years or even more until my children leave home. He still has a daughter at home.
I really do want something more. He seems to be content to just date (we see each other one to two nights a week at the moment).
I don’t want to say too much until after our holiday, but then after this I think I need to bring it to a head.
Do you have any advice? Liz
Liz,
This man has made it clear that he enjoys your company but cannot live with you as long as minor children are at home.
One of the things about men is they honor their deal breakers… something women don’t always do, thinking a man will change if you just love him enough.
Your power lies in deciding whether this relationship is enough for you the way it is. If so, stay with him and have fun enjoying his company a couple of times a week.
If it’s not, let him go and find someone who wants to be in a relationship with you just the way you are.
Dear Lisa,
I was finally ready to start dating last fall, four years after my husband died from cancer when I turned 50. I joined an online dating site.
The issue is that I live in a small resort area and the men in my area who are/were responding are either too old for me or really not compatible at all.
That said, I extended my search area to include a metropolitan area about 2 hours away.
In my profile, I offer to meet someone halfway or even let them know when I’m in the area (I travel there frequently for work and pleasure). Even though guys exhibit interest, many have said that they’re not interested in dating someone out of their immediate area.
That said, do I need to relocate to enjoy an active dating life? Jan
Jan,
You don’t have to move to find a good love life but you do want to understand that dating is a numbers game that takes persistence.
Your profile or the dating site you are on might be why you’re attracting the wrong type of guy. You want to find the right dating sites for you and have the right profile so you can attract the guys you want to meet.
You’ll also want to be savvy at meeting men in your local area.
Is flirting with men scary for you?
In the Fun Path to Mr. Right, you’ll discover exactly how to flirt with men in a way that’s easy and fun.
Dating isn’t easy and doing it alone without support leads to frustration and giving up on your dreams. It’s why I share links to specific coaching programs and products for over 50’s dating. I know they’ll help you find the right guy while having fun dating after 50.
Until next time~
Believing in You!
Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .
💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.
If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:
1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.
2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, "The Winning Dating Formula." It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.
3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.
4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.
Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹
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