Dear Lisa, How Do I Get A Man Over 50 To Ask Me Out?
Before we get to today’s blog, I have a question for you.
Have you noticed now that menopause has come and gone that things have happened with your body and how it responds to having sex as a result of hormonal levels that have dropped?
Often, these changes can be embarrassing and difficult to deal with when you’re beginning a relationship with a new partner.
That’s why Vibrant Nation – an amazing FREE online magazine geared to women over 50 – has partnered with Pfizer and a female doctor who specializes in these issues to get you information on what you can do about this.
I was invited to participate in this panel as well since it’s one of the issues I work with when coaching clients.
I’d love if you could join us for this FREE EVENT.
Even if you can’t make the live event, it will be recorded but you want to sign up so they’ll send you a copy of the replay.
If you have any questions about this event, just let us know.
Have a great week.
Dear Lisa,
I’m just heading into the dating world for the first time in a long time. Is it ok for a woman to ask a man out for a first date? Thanks so much! Phyllis
Dear Phyllis,
Great question. For the most part at our age, it’s better to let a man do the asking. He will be flattered if you ask him out but it usually fizzles because in reality, men like being the one to choose you.
You can let him know you’re interested by winking or flirting with him online. In person, try and catch his eye, then smile for 5 full seconds, which yes, can feel like an eternity!
If a man’s interested, he’ll get the hint and think it’s safe to approach you either online or in person. If he doesn’t, it’s in your best interest to move on because ultimately, you want a man who also wants you.
Dear Lisa,
My date with a guy I met online went well. I wasn’t that keen on him but was willing to try a 2nd date since he seemed nice so we swapped cell numbers. But he suddenly postponed our date the morning we were due to meet citing work problems as his reason for canceling. He never got in touch again. Did I do something wrong? Bridget
Bridget,
You mentioned you weren’t that keen on this man but you were willing to give him a second chance. Men do seem to have this sixth sense of what we’re feeling about them. There is a good chance he picked up on your hesitation and talked himself out of the date, fearing rejection by yet another woman.
If you like a man and want to go out with him again, be sure to let him know how much you appreciate him arranging the date you’ve been on. During the date, encourage him with lots of questions and smiles. Be fun. Be flirty. If he brings up a second date, be enthusiastic and let him know you are looking forward to seeing him again.
Dear Lisa,
I was married for 27 years. My divorce happened about a year ago and I’m beginning to think its time to start dating. I’m a woman over 50 with an empty nest and I haven’t dated since I was a teenager so I’m not totally clueless about what I’m doing. What I’d really like to know is when the right time is to have sex with a man you’re dating? Is there a protocol I need to follow? Thanks for helping me. I really didn’t know where to turn so I am so grateful to have found you. Thank you. Catherine
Dear Catherine,
Thanks for your wonderful question. Before we go any further it’s important to note that STD’s in our age group are on the rise, so practicing safe sex is a must for every woman over 50 these days. Now that worries over pregnancy are no longer an issue, we think we can be lax in this department. Don’t be. Always carry some type of protection with you so that when hormones heat up, you are protected. Sounds a lot like our teen years, doesn’t it? Talk to your doctor for more information.
Now that this is out of the way, lets get to your question about sex and dating. Let’s start with first date sex. Sometimes, we have such strong chemistry with a man that we hop into bed with him on date number 1. Hey, our hormonal urges sometimes need a good fix and there is nothing wrong with that.
You just need to be aware that first date sex is usually just that – a fix that doesn’t go much further. It’s a fun fling and the best way to avoid it is to keep a date under 2 hours so you don’t risk feeling so connected that you want to have sex with him right away.
Some say date number 3 is supposed to be the sex date. This is an urban legend for women our age. Of course you can have sex on the third date if you’d like – just be sure to go with your instincts and whether or not it feels right for you. At this point, leave his feelings or pressures about moving forward into a physical relationship out of the equation until you know what it is that you want to do.
Surprisingly, men over 50 really want to develop a friendship with you first to see if there is a connection that feels right for moving into the physical phase. Now that’s a change, isn’t it?
That being said, there are still men out there who want fast and easy sex. So be sure your online profile doesn’t mention anything about sex. This sends the wrong message to men and if it’s there in black and white for a man to read on his computer, he will assume that it is sex – not a relationship – that you are looking for.
My best advice about sex and dating is to always follow your instincts. However, if the sexual pull is super strong right away, remember that this is HOT CHEMISTRY. Be careful here and go slow if this is the case. You want a relationship built on a foundation of friendship because once the sex wanes, if friendship isn’t there, the relationship with nothing left to support it will crumble.
Take your time and don’t let a man pressure you into something you don’t want to do yet. If he is not willing to wait for the moment you are ready, then he is probably not the right man for you. There are plenty of other men out there who will be.
Disclosure: I am participating in a Vibrant Influencer Network campaign. I am receiving a fee for posting; however, the opinions expressed in this post are my own. I am in no way affiliated with Pfizer and do not earn a commission or percent of sales.
Until next time~
Believing in You!
Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .
💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.
If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:
1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.
2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, "The Winning Dating Formula." It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.
3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.
4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.
Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹
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