Dear Lisa…Does He Or Doesn’t He?
Dear Lisa,
I am over 50 now and a widow. I don’t want to remarry but I do still enjoy sex. My question is: Why is it that men over 50 don’t want to just have sex? Terri
Terri,
I have to chuckle reading your question because the one I usually get is why do men always want sex.
As we age, our hormones are shifting. For us, we gain testosterone and really come into ourselves seeking our place in the world.
For men, as they’ve gotten older, they have more estrogen and that is why they are far more into nesting and being in a relationship with you.
There are plenty of men out there who would be willing to have sex with you.
When you’re on dating sites, search for men interested in nothing serious, a sexual relationship or just dating.
Make sure you’re profile says the same so they can find you too.
I’m sure you’ll find a man out there happy to oblige.
Just be safe since STD’s in our age group are increasing faster than any other group right now. Good luck to you!
Dear Lisa,
I’m a 54 year old professional woman. Recently, a three month relationship with a man, whom I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with (mutually expressed by both of us), was ended by him.
He claimed it was because I expressed my extreme disappointment of him cancelling plans we had previously made, at the last minute. This was the ninth time he had cancelled on me at the last minute for what I thought were trivial reasons (time got away from him and he had something else he needed to do).
A couple of weeks after ending it, he contacted me again (on Valentine’s day no less) and we chatted, via text, for a couple of weeks. The texts reviewed our relationship, what went wrong, how we could have fixed things, but there was never a mention of getting back together.
Instead, he suggested that we have a “friends with benefits” relationship. He continued to tell me he loved me, but couldn’t be in a committed relationship because of my actions, just that he wanted to have sex with me.
I refused because I don’t engage in this type of relationship. I’m left wondering how a 62 year old man, who is a business executive, thinks I, or any other sane woman for that matter, would be in favor of this type of activity? Is this a new mentality? Joan
Joan,
I’m sorry this happened to you. There’s a couple of things going on here.
The first three months of any relationship are a honeymoon phase. Everyone is on their best behavior and idiosyncrasies are thought of as cute.
The next phase is a tough one. You start deciding if this is a person you’d like to commit to.
It’s scary for many and what was cute in the first three months becomes annoying in the next three as you evaluate the possibility of a commitment.
This is where your man was. He was scared of committing and began to think of you as controlling.
From what you’ve said this is a man with commitment issues…the 9 cancelled dates say it all.
I know it’s hard because you’d begun to care for him. But this was a gift for you.
If he’s cancelling activities now, in the “I want to IMPRESS you” phase, it would only have gotten worse as time went on.
When you stop and think about it… wouldn’t you rather have a man in your life who’d consistently be there for you?
As for the “friends with benefits” situation, he was displaying one more way he isn’t willing to commit to a relationship. Good for you for trusting your instincts on this.
Get back online and start going out again.
There are plenty of men out there who want nothing more than the opportunity to be in a real relationship with you.
Check out my latest article in the Huffington Post. And, as always, I would love to hear what you think!
Believing in You!
Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .
💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.
If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:
1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.
2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, "The Winning Dating Formula." It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.
3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.
4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.
Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹
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