9 Exit Strategies To Use In Over 50s Dating When A Date Goes Bad
Ever gone on a date where you just wanted to run within minutes of meeting someone? I can remember a date where this happened and I needed to come up with an exit strategy fast.
It started when I got to the place we were meeting and no one in the coffee shop looked remotely like the picture of the man I’d seen online.
It turns out he was late. When he did show up, this man was at least one hundred pounds heavier than his picture. His pants were falling off and in his hands was a brown bag that he later told me was his heart medicine he’d just bought. This was strike #1 for lying about his weight.
He hugged me and the first words out of his mouth were my dog has fleas. That became strike #2 as I have a dog and just hearing this gave me the willy-nillies.
Strike #3 came when we sat down and he started talking about his CPAP breathing machine. This was way too much information for a first date and now with 3 strikes, I was ready to leave.
Before I discovered exit strategies, not wanting to be rude, I would have stayed on a date until the guy signaled it was time to end it.
Not this time. I remember looking into my cup of tea for courage, and then I looked up at him and sweetly said, “I’m sorry. I forgot I had a 7:30 meeting when I scheduled our time together. I need to go in about 15 minutes.” And I did.
Funny thing is, he had no clue it was an exit strategy because he asked me out again. I declined.
Now, I’m going to give you permission to politely leave dates when they aren’t going well using one of these 9 exit strategies.
9 Exit Strategies For Leaving A Date Quickly and Easily
1. You can always be honest and say, “I enjoyed meeting you and appreciate you buying me a drink, but this I feel this isn’t working.”
2. You can arrange ahead to have a friend call you with a made up crisis about 15 minutes into a date.
3. You can always say you have a meeting you forgot you had to go to and will have to leave shortly just like I did.
4. Talk non-stop trash about your ex. He’ll think you’re a drama queen, but who cares? He’ll hightail it out of there pretty quickly.
5. Want to scare him and get him to take a hike? Talk about how you want to be married by the end of the year. Then start asking a ton of personal questions as if you were interviewing him for the job. You come across as desperate and most guys will run when they hear the words, “marriage this year,” on a first date.
6. Talk about your psychic or astrologer and how you always take to heart what they tell you. You can also mention that one of them told you how perfect the two of you are together. It makes you seem like you just walked off the “Twilight Zone” movie set. Chances are he’ll feel pretty uncomfortable and will exit quickly.
7. Start yawning over and over again while your date is talking. Then tell him you’ve had a long day, you’re really tired and have to get up early the next day so you’re going to cut the date short.
8. Don’t laugh, but spilling something on your clothing is a way to make a fast exit. You might want to order a glass of water with whatever else you’re drinking since it won’t stain.
9. You can always say you’re not feeling well. With the flu as rampant as it is this certain season, most men will want to avoid you like the plague.
One of these should work for any date that isn’t working out. The only thing I urge is that you be nice, polite and respectful. He isn’t a bad guy. He’s just not the one for you.
I would love to hear how you’ve handled leaving dates in your past. Post your comments using the button below.
Until next time~
Believing in You!
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Dear Lisa
Remember those times when a man fed you a line that you knew was a lie.? I don’t know about you, but it leaves me feeling angry or used…. Why couldn’t he just be honest with me.
I feel most men would know when they were being fed a line.
Lisa, you are always telling us to take the time to just get to know a man as a person.
I work at making my first blind meetings to be at a casual quick place.
I don’t need an exit strategy, per say, because the initial meeting is planned to be only a limited period of time.
I’m not going to pretend to be someone I’m not, as in drama queen, ex basher, desperate to marry or astrologer.
If you really want to make sure he doesn’t want a second date, just be opposite of him.. if he says he’s a conservative republican, say you are a liberal democrat or hate politics. If he gets a new expensive car, talk about the cheap old car you love. If he likes a homebody, talk about travel.
You can do this for an hour.
At the end of the 45 min or so, you can now say thanks for meeting me, but I don’t think we have much in common. He’ll probably agree.
Now you can easily and safely leave.
Or you can use the line that was just used on me….my mom just showed up in my driveway. I feel bad telling her I have a date… Rain check?
Don’t you just hate being fed a line…..I know I do.
How about some honest ways to exit a date instead of the lies?
Debbie and Karen…Thank you for writing and for expressing your concerns when it comes to be honest about exiting a date. If you look again at the blog, #1 is Be Honest. Most women are afraid of hurting a man’s feelings. It’s the culture women have grown up with having to please everyone.
I am a proponent of giving men a chance but once in a while, someone comes along like the date I described where the guy is over the top in weirdness or just isn’t all there and you want out. You shouldn’t have to stay to please him. This is the time to take care of yourself and get out. It’s great that both of you can say this isn’t working out to a man’s face. Just be sure to do it in a kind way because men pay forward nastiness to other women when they’ve been hurt. And men perceive a lot of what women say as mean and hurtful.
Yep, I had three first dates much like what Lisa describes and one where the didn’t lie about appearance/health but what came outta his mouth raised no end of red flags. They knew they’d screwed up. Health/weight liars are easy to discourage if you tell them you are highly active, provided you are and look the part. Frankly, youre doing them a kindness with your honesty as you cannot have been their first rejection. The first three I was honest with and then cut contact completely, never had to deal with them again as they lived far away. The last I did the same, and, unfortunately he was at the same large institution but a different building/department and stalked me. I had never told him exactly where I lived, took note of the truck he drove so as to avoid it, his my own vehicle in a neighbors yard, eventually he moved on to another victim and his contract wasn’t renewed the next year. So you pay attention, yes spot these red flags, some of which aren’t as obvious, and for the first few dates, protect your safety by not divulging too much too soon.