8 Tips That Will Fill Your Calendar With Great Guys
Every day, I speak with awesome women over 50 about their dating lives. They communicate the desperation they are feeling about ever finding a good man to share their lives with.
Dating has become a tremendous source of frustration and failure for them. Many become despondent at the very thought of having to go back online and look for dates after a relationship ends.
In fact, quite a few have completely stopped dating because the constant rejection or disinterest from men over 50 has become too painful for them.
After asking a couple of questions about their dating lives, I’ve consistently found most women really don’t understand who these over 50 men are or what they are looking for in the women they’d like to date.
I’d like to share with you 8 tips about men that you can start using right away. I’ve had clients use this advice and go from zero dates to men falling over themselves to get to know them better.
Tip #1: Appreciate a man for who he is. Men are wonderful but they aren’t women. They don’t think like women, nor do they communicate like women. This means don’t expect a man to behave the same way you do or you’re guaranteed to be disappointed.
Tip #2: Men over 50 are very masculine. They love when you bring this trait out in them. They have no interest in competing with you. To them, that’s like dating a man. The key is learning to come into your true feminine power that compliments their masculine power.
Tip #3: Men show you love with their actions. Hollywood has messed with our heads on this one. On the big screen, they show us men like Tom Cruise’s character in the movie, Jerry McGuire, professing his love with romantic speeches that end in the famous words, “You complete me.” Real men show you their love by cutting your grass and giving you their coat when you’re cold. If you expect love to come in words…you could be waiting a very long time.
Tip #4: Men want to give to you. Let them open the door for you and change that light bulb you can’t reach. It makes them happy to please you. All they want in return is to be appreciated and thanked. If you do this, they’ll do anything you want, which leads us to Tip #5.
Tip #5: Don’t criticize the job a man is doing for you. He’s doing his best and yes, you may be able to do it better or faster than he can but don’t. It makes him feel emasculated. If he has offered to do something for you, allow him to do it his way.
Otherwise, the next time you ask for help, he’ll tell you to hire a handyman. He doesn’t want the aggravation of not being able to do anything right for you.
Tip #6: Leave the demands out of your online profile. When you’re dating a man over 50, don’t place demands on how he must be or what he has to do in order to date you.
Men tell me again and again how much they dislike the online profiles of women who demand nothing less then the best restaurants or a certain salary to date them. Men have had enough of the demands put on them at work and from ex’s. The last thing they want to do is meet yours before you’ve even met.
Tip #7: Men are not pet projects. Don’t try and remodel a man. Either accept him for who he is or let him go and move on.
Tip #8: Make it clear you are interested. A lot of men over 50 are pretty insecure when it comes to asking you out. Having been rejected time and time again by so many women, they aren’t too quick about putting themselves back in a vulnerable position unless it feels safe to do so.
If you like a man, encourage him with eye contact, a warm smile or a flirt online to let them know you’re interested.
Remember, men weren’t given a dating rulebook with their divorce papers either. So be kind to them and understand that as scared as you feel about dating, most of them are too.
Please let me know in the comments how these tips work for you.
Until next time~
Believing in You!
Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .
💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.
If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:
1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.
2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, "The Winning Dating Formula." It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.
3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.
4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.
Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹
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Lisa,
One of the tips you mentioned – Leave the demands out of your online profile reminded me of the ad I placed in a singles publication way before online dating – while I only got 5 responses – I only really needed one – and that one answered my ad and we have now been married for 30 years. The ad read: Single white female seeks companion for old age. Looks not important. Must have keen mind, pure heart and good humor!
(I guess there was a demand in there but it served me well!)
Hi Pegotty. Congrats on your 30 years together!!!!!! You can see why from the ad you wrote which is not demanding at all. You sounded open, kind, and like a woman who recognized the importance of qualities in a man versus just his looks. The demands women are making today are things like…. take me to the latest and best restaurant every week and you must make a certain amount to date me.
I think these are great tips, depending on how “feminine” you mean. Helpless isn’t realistic but I wouldn’t be demanding either. There is probably a reasonable balance while still being myself. I don’t want to be a phony “little old me” type but I’ve never been an executive type either. Good article.
Thank you Lisa. Being feminine does not mean being helpless. It means asking a man for help and being willing to receive from men…something we weren’t necessarily taught how to do. We often ask for help in a way that sounds like an order to men even though it sounds sweet to us.
I don’t relate to any of these assumed things on what woman do and how they turn men of. The main problem most of my of my girlfriends over 50 is actually meeting an available attractive man who is in their age range. Most the men on line are so full of baggage their undateable. Many men don’t grow after their marriage is over. Or are still attached to their ex wife in some way. Men with teenagers hide behind their children putting the new woman last. . Or are happy with no strings attached and try for the friends with benefits arrangement. Many men over 50 want to just keep dating and once conquered a woman move onto the next . This happens after about three months especially if the woman wants a commitment. Then there are the ones who will only date woman under 40 . I could go on.
If there are any good ones then there are are about 100 woman competing for the same guy. I have spoken to men in their fifties who are decent and they all say the same thing. There are so many woman to choose from. But the woman all say where are the decent guys in the late forties and fifties. That’s why there are countless dating coaches these days mainly catering for woman who can’t find a normal male who wants to be in relationship. The dating industry doesn’t have to cater for men because tts to easy for them.
Hi Gab…thank you for your comments. Working with both men and women, I have found the biggest underlying issue in over 50’s dating is that most men and women are afraid to open their hearts for fear of being hurt again. Intellectually they may want love but fear creates this drive to find the perfect person who just doesn’t exist. There are great men out there when you are willing to get past a man’s look as being the main criteria for happiness again. The key is how you feel around him.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge- your advice is greatly appreciated. I have not been successful in the love dept. or relationships in general to date. kind regards Michelle
P.S. I have been deeply hurt am battle weary and do not think I will ever find the right person for me, I thought I had but he left the relationship
Hi Michelle
I’m sorry you are feeling so discouraged with dating. You bring up a very important point when you say you have been deeply hurt and are battle weary. This is very typical of over 50’s dating. Most in this generation have been so hurt they are afraid to be vulnerable again and when it gets tough, they leave rather than risk being even more hurt by staying. Watch for an affordable program I’m going to offer in May that is going to teach women how to really have fun dating at this age along with how to feel vulnerable and open again with men. Hang in there Michelle. Lots of healing hugs to you!
Hi, Lisa – what’s a really good way to say thanks but no thanks if a guy has been generous with his time and taken you out for drinks one evening and brunch on another day but I realize I like him but there is no real chemistry or deeper interest in him? Personally, as a really attractive and youthful 62 year old, I want to have chemistry AND shared interests and compatibility; so I am not interested in settling just to have a guy; however, I have enough experience to know that good friends are NOT a dime a dozen and sometimes (this happened to me) you can meet someone online who is not the right fit for the together forever dept but can be a friend, someone you support and who supports you…most guys are not interested in that; so how do you say in a kind way that you are not interested in the bigger picture but maybe in something else?
Hi Diana
Great question. If you know you’re friending a man, offer to pay half the bill on the first date if its a meal. That’s a signal you’re not interested in having him keep you safe and protected. Then just say I’d love to be friends with you. Men’s reactions to be friended…some will be fine with it. Some will say I’m too attracted to you to just be your friend. I feel collecting guys as friends is a great way to be around male energy on a continuous basis. Let me know how it goes.