8 Tips Every Woman Needs To Know About Men Over 50
Don’t laugh…but one of my very favorite TV shows is Survivor. This season, the game has pitted family members against each other. The pairs that touch me the most are the couples who are forced to be on opposite teams.
It’s heart wrenching to see how much it tears a man apart to watch his wife be in danger when there is nothing he can do about it. I want you to really understand how important it is to a man that he makes you feel safe and protected. It’s literally in his DNA to do this.
Growing up, we weren’t taught who men really are and what makes them tick. I know I wasn’t and in the past, I made huge mistakes that ended up emasculating men. It’s what led me to helping women really understand who men are…especially over 50’s men.
That’s why I wrote these 8 tips about men you can use right away in your own dating life. These tips have made a huge difference in my both my life and the lives of my clients.
Tip #1 – Appreciate a man for who he is.
Men are wonderful but they aren’t women. They don’t think like women nor do they communicate like women. This means don’t expect a man to act like a woman or you’re guaranteed to be disappointed.
Tip #2 – Men over 50 are very masculine and they love when you bring this trait out in them.
Men have no interest in competing with you and that’s exactly what they see it as when you approach them as an Alpha Female. For a man, this is like dating another man and he isn't interested in dating men. The key is learning to come into your true feminine power…one that compliments a man’s masculine power. When you do, he’ll jump through hoops to make you happy.
Tip #3 – Men show you love with their actions.
Hollywood has messed with our heads on this one. On the big screen, they show us men like Tom Cruise’s character in the movie, Jerry McGuire. Think back to when he professed his love with the romantic words, “You complete me.” Real men show you their love by cutting your grass and giving you their coat when you’re cold. If you expect love to come in words…you could be waiting a very long time.
Tip #4 – Men want to give to you.
Let them open the door for you or change that light bulb you can’t reach. It makes them happy to please you. All they want in return is to be appreciated and thanked. If you do this, they’ll do anything you want, which leads us to Tip #5.
Tip #5 – Don’t criticize the job a man is doing for you.
He’s doing his best and yes, you may be able to do it better or faster than he can but don’t… It makes him feel emasculated. If he’s offered to do something for you, allow him to do it his way. Otherwise, the next time you ask for help, he’ll tell you to hire a handyman. He doesn’t want the aggravation of not being able to do anything right for you.
Tip #6 – When you’re dating an over 50’s man, don’t place demands on how he must be or what he has to do in order to date you.
Men tell me again and again how much they dislike profiles of women who demand nothing less than the best restaurant or a certain salary to date them. Men have had enough demands put on them at work and from their ex’s. The last thing they want to do is meet yours before you’ve even met.
Tip #7 – Don’t try and remodel a man by making him your pet project.
Either accept him for who he is or let him go and move on.
Tip #8 – A lot of men over 50 are pretty insecure when it comes to asking you out.
Having been rejected time and time again by so many women, they aren’t too quick about putting themselves back in a vulnerable position unless it feels safe to do so. If you like a man, encourage him with eye contact, a warm smile or a flirt online to let him know you’re interested. Remember, men weren’t given a Dating Rulebook with their divorce papers either. So be kind to them and understand that as scared as you feel about dating, most of them are too.
Understanding Men 101 will totally change your life from getting nowhere with men to attracting men in your life who want to be there for you and want to make you happy.
"I purchased Understanding Men 101. Even though I have spent my entire professional life working around men, I couldn't crack the code for on-line dating and that segment alone was worth it. Changed my profile, made a few other tweaks and the difference has been night and day, within 24 hours. Well done!" -Elaine, Arizona
Isn’t it time to change your life with men too? Understanding Men 101
Until next time~
Believing in You!
Your Next Steps to Love after 50. . . .
💞 Feeling like you are on a merry-go-round of mismatched dates? Lets press pause and talk about how we can write a new love story for you. Click here to start our conversation. Tell me your story – I am here to listen and guide you towards meeting someone truly special.
If you are still gearing up for that step, I have plenty of insights and inspiration for you:
1. Subscribe to my YouTube Channel for heartfelt dating wisdom and uplifting success stories from women who have been just where you are. They found love, and so can you. Click here to watch and learn.
2. Discover a new chapter in your dating life with my book, "The Winning Dating Formula." It is more than a book; it is your journey to love mapped out. And it is just a click away on Amazon. Click here and start attracting the love you deserve.
3. Join our Finding Love after 50 Facebook group to find camaraderie and connection. It is a warm and welcoming space to share your journey and receive support every step of the way. Click here to become part of our community.
4. On the lookout for a dating site that resonates with you? Browse through my personal selection of the best dating sites tailor-made for fabulous over 50s. Click here and say goodbye to guesswork.
Let these resources be your steppingstones to a love life filled with promise and joy. When you are ready, I am here to take that journey with you. Together, lets find your Mr. Right! 🌹
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A question out there for all of you in electron-land: What does one do if she is far more skilled at stuff like home repair, gardening, power tool usage, AND the all womanly stuff like cooking, cleaning? Kinda was playing the alpha and the beta role at the same time and pulling the weight financially as well. Just mutually agreed to break it off after a one year non-relationship with a guy who’d come from privilege who’d never learned any “manly” skills such as home fixit, nor did he learn how to cook or clean. I am considerably shorter than he, yet I was the one, quite literally, who did the heavy lifting in all ways. Don’t wanna make a man feel un-needed yet I do not want to be in such a situation ever again where I must do everything. Hiring help in this area is not an option. Exhausting. My power tools and wallet are breathing a collective sigh of relief at this dudes absence. He was going to hurt himself trying to help out. I am also a serious intellectual sort so I do really need someone intellectual too; my attempts at dating working class guys have always ended in disaster due to serious incompatibility.
Noquay
I guess there are a number of different ways you can look at this.
The first sounds quite harsh… It must really be a hard way to live knowing that you are better than everyone at everything.
The second is a very different approach. Everyone you meet is good at something. Most people you meet are interested in learning something.
The question becomes: Where can you let go? What can you let go of the control of and let someone else be in charge of and you let them do it their way? What can you let go of and let it be okay if it is not done to your standard of perfection? What of your knowledge are you willing to share and take the time to teach?
There are very few people in the world who could long bear being with someone who is constantly pointing out ones superiorities and the others inferiorities. Ask yourself… Is this how I would like to be treated. Are you in touch with your Feeling side, not just your logical intellectual side?
Lastly, what are you looking for in a relationship? Are you looking for someone to outdo you in power tool usage? Are you looking for a live in butler and cook? Are you looking for someone to put their arms around you and open their heart?
Traditionally, the man would be the strong dominant one in the relationship and the female would be the support person. Is this what you are looking for, but in reverse?
I was given this advice once. When you go out shopping for a car and you want and need an suv, you don’t come home with a sportscar. You made of list of what you were looking for. Take out a sheet of paper. Write down all the attributes you are looking for in your perfect guy. keep writing till he’s defined. Reread it. Then put it in an envelope and tuck it away in a drawer. now go live your life. You’ve just set your intention of what/who you are looking for.
Before you say oh, that’s a corny idea. I personally know of 4 people, myself included who did just that.
I’m sorry to sound so harsh. I’ve read many of your posts and many seem to have the same theme… I’m better than everyone I meet.
Everyone is good at something. Why not try looking at what they do well, instead of what they don’t do as well as you.
Best of luck to you.
I think the key point Lisa is making—and that I agree with—is that if a man likes you, he will do for you. For some men, especially those with decent money, it might be treating you to nice outing at a fancy restaurant or opera. Other men might try to help you out around the home or take pick you up from the airport or something.
In every case, a man’s gift will probably be imperfect in some way. He might buy two tickets to an expensive new art exhibition, not knowing that you don’t really like galas at all. He might try to rely on a “trusted old route” to the airport, instead of following the GPS. Whatever it is, it’ll probably be imperfect in some minor or major way.
If a woman declines a man gift—because it’s not really something she needs, because it’s done wrong, because she needs to prove her independence, because the stone you bought her might be a “blood diamond” or for whatever reason—it’s a relationship-killer. Even something small, like “I can get the door myself” is bad.
If a woman declines or criticizes a gift from me, however small, I take it a sign of disinterest and move on. This is a secret to “why men disappear” that is rarely discussed. I imagine many or most men, especially those over 45, are pretty similar.
Some women say–and I’ve heard this– “Well, I’m just being honest” or “I’m just being true to myself/honoring myself and values” when they decline a man’s gift. Fair enough. But maintaining a relationship isn’t about exchanging brutal honesty around the clock. No human relationship can survive that. It’s about tact, diplomacy, social skills. I’ve dated many women who were terrible cooks, but I always said, “This tastes wonderful!” not “Can’t you do any better than this?”
Since the earliest human civilizations, our relationships have involved these sorts of exchanges, however imperfect and symbolic. If a person defies this, or claims they are “above” this—and I read these fierce claims of independence a lot on Match–essentially they cannot have a partner.
Speed
I never criticised his “gifts”, generally his attempts to help out, I just re-did the stuff quietly when he wasn’t around. The few times he cooked, it was awful but like you, I complemented him anyway.If he went to the store for me, I complemented him. However, there was a definite possibility of his getting injured, especially when he was trying to use power tools he really had no ability use. I tried to get him to do only fun stuff such as hike, walk my dogs but often he insisted on trying to do other stuff, often when I wasn’t home. This relationship had numerous issues as this guy wound up to have some serious physical and emotional trauma that he’s never really dealt with which was the real reason for the breakup. In future, I want to avoid a scenario where a guy’s attempts to give are really beyond his own skill set. I understand a lot of city guys never learned many hands on skills, I’m fine with that plus I’d much rather we had a good, in depth conversation anyway. I can do the heavy lifting on my own time. . I’d rather be taken to the opera, a dance, just go for a walk than be in that kind of situation again.
Speed
Just wondering
A gentleman gives a lady a gift of clothing. The clothing does not fit or looks truly horrible on ( yes I know that strapless top looked great in the store but I’ve never worn anything straplesz because I’m afraid it will fall down).
What is the lady to do in this case. She truly appreciate s the gift and the thought, and is not wanting to hurt them in any way.
Please advise.
I’ve had gentlemen give me gifts of moderately priced jewelry… Under 200.
While I have gracefully accepted them and worn it, much to their delight, I personally do not like the pieces. How do I appear grateful, which I am, yet somehow direct them to things more to my taste.
( in one case it was a very pretty little cat pin, suited much more to a preteen age )
He always comments how happy he is when I wear it.
I hope this makes sense.
It would be like a lady buying you a lavender and pink patterned shirt with matching tie and then asking why you don’t wear it to work…….
Thanks Speed